


A Thousand Words

by itszapah



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Fighting, Hurt/Comfort, Redemption, cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-12-08 00:03:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11634735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itszapah/pseuds/itszapah
Summary: Robert Small is nervous about his daughter coming to visit him for the first time in years. While there is no way to mend their relationship to be normal, he's eager to try to be a better person from here on out. Of course, forgiveness can't come easily, and pain from the past can never heal completely.





	A Thousand Words

**Author's Note:**

> Given their rough past, I feel like there would be a lot of tension between Robert and Val when she comes to visit at first. They both seem to have fiery personalities and have suffered a lot, so you better believe there's quite a bit of anger and harsh words in this. I know this is dealing with some touchy topics, too, so fair warning about that.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

When the doorbell rang, Robert’s heartbeat picked up tenfold.

There was no reason he should have felt so scared. The person on the other side of the door was not some carnivorous cryptid or vengeful ghost trying to kill him. She was just a woman in her mid-twenties. Just a photographer who lived in New York. There was nothing scary about that in and of itself. Still, this woman held more power over him than any of those bloodthirsty forest monsters.

The woman outside was his daughter, his own flesh and blood. She’d known him her whole life. Unfortunately, he hadn’t actually seen his child since her mother’s funeral, and God help him, did she seem angry with him then! Thereafter, she’d basically cut him off from her life completely, save for the occasional text or call.

Needless to say, he was surprised when she recently asked to stay over for a few days. That uncomfortable mix between excitement and dread had caused him to go out and buy a few extra drinks the night she had asked.

He hadn’t had anything today, though. She’d trusted him enough to come visit and he owed her his sobriety.

Damn, being sober was hard.

After looking himself over one more time in the mirror, Robert took a deep breath and opened the front door. He was now standing face-to-face with Val. She was always hard to read, just like himself, but her demeanor seemed pleasant enough.

“Hey,” she said. “Long time no see.”

He looked her over. She was the same old Val, alright. Tall, tanned, and balancing an appearance between femininity, professionalism, and somehow still being ready to roast a bitch.

“Hey, Val. You seem to be doing well,” Robert commented, unsure what else to say after all this time. Should he hug her in a fatherly fashion? She rarely let him do that. Hell, when was the last time they'd actually embraced? Her high school graduation? Wait, he hadn't actually gone to that...

“Thanks,” Val said. There was a short pause, but then she gave a small smirk. “You look close to death, as usual. Maybe not as close to it as the last time I saw you, but still hovering right around it.”

Val had already roasted him pretty swiftly. They’d always been open with their insults, banter wavering on a fine line between playfulness and resentment. Given its normalcy, Robert let himself laugh. “Fair enough. Get in here!”

Robert ushered his daughter inside. She dragged her rolling suitcase behind her. She was gripping it rather hard. The man noticed his daughter’s brown eyes critically scanning his house, taking into account his half-assed attempt to tidy the place up. It wasn’t that he hadn’t tried; he just really wasn’t good at cleaning.

_Woof!_

The tension dispersed when a small dog’s bark filled the room. Val’s skeptic expression immediately melted to one of joy as she saw the Boston Terrier bounding towards her excitedly.

“Hey, baby! You must be Betsy," Val greeted, voice suddenly rising an octave. She knelt down pet the dog, and Betsy immediately rolled over on her back for full belly rubbing opportunity. “This old man treating you right? He better be!”

“I am, I am!” Robert assured, frowning. He wasn’t actually upset by her blatant preference for his dog. He had no right to hold that against her. Besides, Betsy deserved the love. “I give her food and shelter.”

Val stood back up. The two watched as Betsy wandered towards the couch, having received enough attention to satisfy her for the time being.

“That’s what you always told me,” Val said, keeping her gaze on Betsy. The dog had curled up into a tight ball. “That you gave me food and shelter, which was all I technically needed so you were doing your job.”

Another stab at him. This one hurt a little more than the last one for some reason.

Robert scoffed. "Well, you're alive, aren't you?"

There was another pause. Val changed the subject.

“Well, I’m going to get unpacked and settled in!” She grabbed her suitcase’s handle again and started to walk to down the hall.

“Oh, sure,” Robert said, stepping aside. “You know where your room is.”

“Yeah, I do.”

Once she was out of sight with the door closed behind her, Robert collapsed on the couch next to Betsy. She lifted up her head to rest it on Robert's lap. He petted her mindlessly.

While the banter between him and his daughter was nothing out of the ordinary, he was finally a little more aware of the pain lying underneath it all. But shit, would she even accept it if he tried to apologize, or would she just wave it off? He’d apologized too many damn times before without meaning a word of it. He’d become the boy who cried fucking wolf. A pathetic broken record which played the same thing on repeat until people threw the whole thing out. 

Damn, all Robert wanted was a drink right now. This was stressing him out.

* * *

 

Val stayed in her room for awhile, so Robert took his mind off of her by watching a classic: Paranormal Excursions of the Supernatural: Ice Road Ghost Truckers. He'd watched multiple episodes and it was already getting dark outside by the time Val came back out of her room. She’d changed into sweatpants and braided her hair to the side, comfortable for the night. She sat on the couch with father, but kept a distance between them.

"Paranormal Excursions?” she asked.

“Yeah. You watch it?”

“Sometimes.”

“Cool show.”

“Yeah.”

Another silence between the two. Robert was a man who generally appreciated times of quiet. There was no reason to talk if you had nothing to say, after all. Yet this silence was brimming with unspoken words. It was hard to enjoy.

"I'm surprised you decided to come,” Robert finally said, once the show went to commercial break.

Val shrugged. “Well, they gave me a few days off. We’ve all been really busy doing these photoshoots for some magazine advertisements lately. Working day and night. Almost no breaks.”

He was impressed by this, though maybe he decided to show it in the wrong way.

“God, when I was your age, I spent all my time lazing around on my ass drinking beer and smoking pot.”         

“Then not much has changed, huh?” Val said, looking towards some beer bottles in the corner of the living room that Robert had failed to hide.

“Well, I'm sober right now.”

"Yeah? For how long? There's a difference between going to a bar with friends and... _this_."

Robert sighed. Here it was. Those unspoken words penetrating the silence. “Listen, I’m sorry I was a shit dad.”

“I’m sorry you can’t remember half the shit you’ve done to me,” Val responded.

What had he expected, her to readily accept that and move on? Their peace until this point had been like a ticking time bomb, destined to blow at any moment. She was right. He was craving some that very moment to the point of it being unhealthy. Mentally, that left him on edge.

Despite having mentally prepped himself for this conversation a hundred times, his primordial defensive instinct kicked in. “You know I was sick!”

“ _Was_?” Val challenged, and gestured towards Robert’s hands. It was undeniable that they were beginning to shake. He hadn’t had a drink all day and it was getting late.

“It’s harder than you think -"

“I hope it’s hard, because if it's easy then you really _are_ an asshole for not getting better,” Val snapped back.

"Can't we just move on from this?"

"How the hell am I supposed to move on?" Val said.

Robert felt his muscles begin to ache. He was starting to sweat.

“Fucking hell, Val, you didn’t have to come and see me if you didn't want to!”

“Trust me, I’m already regretting it!” Val huffed. She stood up and began to walk back to her room, and quickly Robert followed. He had just enough determination left in him to not allow the conversation to end there, though not enough to solve it calmly like he had hoped. 

“What the hell do you want me to do?” Robert asked, tailing her to her room. 

Val stopped in her tracks and turned around. Robert almost ran into her. Thankfully he didn't, because she was fuming.

“Oh, I don’t know! Show an ounce of guilt, maybe?”

“I just said I was sorry!” the father said.

“Then fucking act like it!” his daughter retorted, throwing her arms up in exasperation.

 “How the hell am I supposed to do that? You want me to get on my hands and knees and beg forgiveness?”

“That’s better than you trying to act as if suddenly everything is okay!”

“I was shit, alright? I was never there when you needed me! I know that and I feel fucking horrible about it!"

“It’s not just when you _weren’t_ there! It’s when you _were_ there!”

“You’re making no sense!”

“What’s frustrating is also all those next-day forgotten conversations we had where you were physically present, but your mind wasn’t there!” Val said. “All those times when I just wanted to have friends over, but couldn’t, because you were there! You were an embarrassment who couldn’t hold yourself together for a day at a time!”

“Oh, because you’re just a fucking  _angel_!”

“At least I’ve never gotten in trouble with the law over it! That time when you got not just a regular DUI, but a _Super_ DUI? I didn’t even know that was a thing!” Val screamed.

“And I paid my ticket and did my community service and -”

Val wasn't listening, or maybe she did hear and was actively ignoring him. “I always had to be the girl with the cheapest phone, the cheapest computer, the cheapest clothes!"

"Val-"

"I was the kid on free lunch that year you lost your job because you couldn’t even make your sorry ass show up on time!”

“ _Valerie_ -”

“And here you are, thinking that I can just move on and pretend that none of this ever happened with a simple  _sorry_?”

He could tell her eyes were already filling with tears, and that brought him back to reality enough to realize that he'd just fucked up yet again. The man took a deep breath.

"You're right. You're completely right, okay?"

Under normal circumstances, she would have probably stopped the argument there, but she was still fuming and was determined to let it all out right then.

“I can guarantee you have piles of the bottles shoved underneath the bed. That’s where you always tried to hide them, as if that was hard to find!” Val said, and she immediately changed directions and made her way towards Robert’s room.

“Valerie, get over here!” Robert yelled. He followed her to his room desperately, partly because he hated to see her keep hurting like this and partly because she was right. And fucking hell, he _really_ wanted a drink right now, or at least to take a drag to calm his nerves. It was a lose/lose situation entirely. You don't drink and feel like shit, or you do drink and be shit.

She opened the door and practically screamed as she was greeted by piles of dirty clothes and cigarette butts strewn about in a haphazardly fashion.

“It’s a miracle how you haven’t managed to burn this shithole to the ground,” she stated, and of course went to the bed to lift up the covers. Sure enough, there were quite a few liquor bottles kicked under there. “It’s one thing to do this in college, but at your age? Goddamn…”

He let her look around a room. It felt like a confession of sorts, having her inspect his still-disastrous lifestyle. She finally got to his nightstand and opened the drawer. Her eyes focused on something inside it and her facial expression changed. 

“Valerie..." Robert knew what she was looking at and was immediately struck with a pang of guilt. It was just one of the many things cluttering the room, but it was undeniably different than the rest of his junk.

It was a picture. It was old and clearly not taken by a professional at the time. It was off center and a little blurry.

It was just a single picture, but it meant so much.

Val was in the center. She was much smaller at the time, but flashed one of the biggest, toothiest grins. She was wearing a neon colored t-shirt. Her hair was a frizzy bob. There was something cute in the little disaster she was. To her left was Robert, looking considerably less worn down than he was now. He was even smiling too - an authentic smile, not a smirk or a sneer. Then to Val's left, her mother. Young, beautiful, happy.

“I remember taking this,” Val said, pulling it out of the drawer. “It was my ninth birthday. You and Mom got me one of those cheap digital cameras. I was thrilled."

“Me too,” Robert said. “I remember that.”

“Mom seemed just as excited about the camera as I did,” Val said, sitting down on the bed. Robert hesitated but eventually sat next to her, leaving a safe amount of space.

“Yeah, she insisted that we go to the park that day just so you could get some nice shots,” Robert said.

“That’s where we took this,” Val said. “I basically wanted to do a selfie, even though I don’t think that word existed yet. I held the camera out as far as I could to get all of us in it. Mom offered to take the picture for me since her arm was longer, but I insisted that I wanted to be the one to take it since it was my camera.”

“You wanted full artistic control of the shot,” Robert said.

Val chuckled. “And then we went to that gross pizza place.”

“Hey, it’s some damn good pizza.”

“Sure, they’re not mutually exclusive,” Val said. “But, you did get pineapple pizza, so maybe they are.”

“Still get that if I go.”

“You're disgusting,” his daughter said. She gave a little laugh, though her voice was quivering. “As usual, I just split a cheese pizza with Mom.”

“More for me that way.”

They were both quiet a moment, apart from Val's occasional sniffle. Again, nothing said, but so much to say.

“Do you realize how much pain she was in at the end of her life?” Val asked. She wasn't even trying to hide her tears. “You did nothing to help her. _Nothing_.”

While she was back to accusing him, it was different than before. There was more hurt than anger. Less resentment and more sadness.

Robert couldn’t bring himself to say anything.

“It all just got worse from this point,” Val said, motioning towards the picture. “I don’t know what happened to you, but from then forward, you became an absolute mess. Sure, you’d have your good phases, but that only evened out with the bad ones."

"I...can't deny that..."

“You know what this week is, right?” Val asked. Her voice had quieted down to almost a whisper.

Robert was pretty sure he felt something wet trickle down his face at that point, too. Luckily, Val wasn't looking at him. 

"I do," he said. "I knew you coming this week wasn't coincidental."

“Four years,” Val said.

“Four years,” Robert repeated.

The two stared at the picture for a long time. This was one of those silences that Robert felt was appropriate.

“I try not to look at old pictures often,” Val said. “You’d think after four years it’d get easier but time really doesn’t heal everything.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“While I have great support in New York, I just wanted to be around somebody who was experiencing the same thing," Val confessed.

It took Robert a moment to respond. “I’m…glad you came, Val.”

Val stood up and placed the picture back in the drawer. She didn't want to look at it any longer. “I wish I could say that I hate you. Is that terrible?"

"Given the circumstances, no," Robert said.

"But I don’t hate you. I think we've both had our fair share of suffering. I feel bad for you, honestly."

This really made Robert’s chest ache. 

“Listen, we can never have a regular father and daughter relationship,” Val continued. “Some of the things you did, they can’t just be put aside. 'Moving on' isn't that easy, but I do want peace. And like that picture, we've had our good moments, too. Like that year we got into biking? That was a good year.”

Robert hoped Val didn’t notice the fact that he had to keep wiping his eyes. How could somebody as shitty as him have a daughter like her? “That was fun.”

Val smiled. “Yeah, I remember that time you totally wiped out on the pathway.”

Robert pulled his shirt up, pointing at a rather graphic white line going across his chest. “Still got the scar as proof.”

Val seemed to take some satisfaction in this.

She looked down at her father’s hands, now violently shaking from a lack of a certain depressant.

“Do you feel it when they’re shaking that bad?” Val asked. “Because it hurts to watch.”

“I’m fine," Robert said, shoving his hands into his pockets. 

“You’re doing a _great_ job of hiding it but no, you’re not," Val insisted. 

There was no point in lying.

“..No, I’m not. But I’m really trying to get my shit together,” Robert said. He stood up and went to her side. “It’s hard and I know I have a long way to go. And you're right, I shouldn't be saying sorry when I don't even have my act entirely together yet. But honest to God, I want nothing more than to get better. I’m really trying.”

Val smiled and gave him a hug. He tensed up from initial shock, but quickly relaxed and hugged her back. He found himself incredibly grateful for it.

“I know," she said. "I wouldn’t be here if you weren’t, Dad."


End file.
